Joke Of The Day

I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked.

She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery in this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car.

"Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery for this?"

"Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked.

"No, just this remote thingyā€¯ which she handed to me with the car ignition (and trunk) keys.

As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the's too long a walk."

Bonus Joke:

My wife asked me to help one of our neighbors, a young mother whose sailor husband was at sea.

Her car had to have a freeze plug replaced, a job that took two days. Then I discovered that the battery was dead, and the starter was shot, so I fixed those too.

Days later, I proudly handed the woman her keys saying, "Now your car is good for many more miles."

"Thanks," she said. "All I care is that it runs long enough to make it to the dealer. I'm trading it in tomorrow."

Extra Bonus Joke:

One day this mechanic was working late under a car and some brake fluid dripped into his mouth.

"Wow! That stuff isn't too bad tasting" he thought.

Next day he told his buddy about tasting the brake fluid.

"Not bad," he said. "Think I'll have a little more today." His friend got a little concerned but didn't say anything.

Next day he told about drinking a cup full of the brake fluid. "Great stuff! Think I'll have some more today."

And so he did. A few days later he was up to a bottle a day, and told his friend "This brake fluid is really great stuff."

His friend was now really worried. "You know that brake fluid is poison and really bad for you. You better stop drinking that stuff."

"Hey, no problem," he said, "I can stop any time."

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